Phyllis knows how much it helps to have someone care when you’re going through a tough time. She, herself, struggled to cope when her 21-year-old daughter and five-year-old granddaughter were killed in a car accident in 2004. While trying to deal with her loss, she went to work at the University of Delaware Early Learning Center, where she was employed as an assistant teacher. “I had been there for a couple of years when I hit a wall in my grief and woke up really angry,” she recalls. “When I told Laura, the center director, how I felt, she said she wanted to help and gave me a squeeze toy to help me release my emotions. And Laura’s response changed my day because it showed she cared.”
The support she received from Laura also inspired Phyllis to take on her current role as a coach for the Early Childhood Innovation Center at Delaware State University, where she helps educators earn their CDA®. She brings nearly 40 years of experience in the early childhood classroom to this position, and along the way she’s gained a keen sense of empathy for the hardships that many educators face. They’ve told her how they struggle with long hours, low pay and the challenge of finding care for their own young children.
Phyllis was fortunate to find a family child care program where she could take her daughter when she began her career at an early learning center in New Orleans. “The center provided me with in-house training, which helped me understand how children develop and grow,” she recalls. “I was able to apply that training at both work and home, where it helped me be a better parent. It was a privilege for me to be my child’s first teacher, and as an early learning professional, I strived to help other parents also learn how to support their children’s growth,” she says, “but that was a challenge in the impoverished New Orleans neighborhood where I initially worked.”
Phyllis witnessed some disturbing instances of abuse and neglect, as she grimly recalls. “I had children who came to school with marks where they had been restrained around their ankles and wrists,” she says. “I saw children climb into trash receptacles to eat the leftovers from lunch because they were still hungry. And witnessing all this was a real eye-opener that made me realize that you can’t assume everyone knows how to treat young children or has the patience to give them proper care. The parents were struggling to survive, and the children simply added to the stress they felt every day.”
Phyllis was dealing with her own stress because she was the victim of domestic violence and spent two weeks sleeping at her daughter’s family child care home before she and her daughter left New Orleans. Afterward, she went to her birthplace of Springfield, MA, where her life turned around for the better. “I met my husband, who was teaching mental health counseling at Springfield College, and we had a baby boy,” Phyllis recalls. “Afterward, I opened a family child care home where I could care for my young son and the children of two friends.”
Then another new chapter in life opened for Phyllis after her husband joined a team that opened a satellite campus of Springfield College in Wilmington, DE. And in 2006, she went to work at the Delaware Early Learning Center, where she earned her CDA. “I enjoyed the chance to work on a credential that identified me as an early learning professional, and it gave me the information to become more intentional in engaging young children. I renewed my CDA two times, even after I earned my BA in human services at Springfield College.”
The degree ignited her interest in advocating for the early learning field, Phyllis explains. And a few years ago, she interviewed some of her colleagues about the roadblocks they faced in life. “One of them was a lead teacher in her late thirties who was still living with her parents since she couldn’t afford a place of her own,” Phyllis says. “Others had to rely on state subsidies to survive.” And these inequities spurred Phyllis to take action.
“I began serving on the board of the Delaware Association for the Education of Young Children, as well as lobbying for the child care workforce in Delaware and Washington, DC,” Phyllis says. “I want to see the workforce receive recognition as valued professionals when it comes to wages, benefits and opportunities for education,” she explains. And Phyllis would also like educators to have pathways for advancement if they don’t want to go into administration. “You should be able to grow as a professional if you want to remain a teacher, as I did throughout my career despite earning a college degree and then a master’s degree five years ago.”
In addition, Phyllis has done some trauma-informed training, and she considers it important to the role she took on three years ago as a coach for the Early Childhood Innovation Center. “I emphasize the health and well-being of educators as I help them earn their CDAs,” she explains. “So, I incorporate wellness techniques, breathing and meditation in my coaching to help the CDA candidates find a sense of strength and balance.”
Part of that is also building bonds with the educators, as Phyllis explains. “I tell them about the decades I’ve spent in the early learning field so they know I’m someone they can relate to.” And as a seasoned veteran of the early childhood classroom, she understands how much the candidates can contribute. “Many of them are very compassionate and passionate about what they do on a daily basis,” she says. “They’re already experts in early learning and they just need to learn to examine and assess themselves so they can be more intentional about what they’re doing.”
As a coach, Phyllis has helped empower many educators to fulfill their promise. But she knows the educators also need help from their colleagues. “Part of being a professional in ECE is supporting others,” as Phyllis explains. That’s especially crucial when people are dealing with challenges and stress, as she did after her daughter’s death. She hasn’t forgotten how her director supported her, and the memory still inspires her to help candidates handle the challenges in their own lives.
“The bottom line is you can’t do your best in the early childhood classroom if you go to work with a lot of burdens,” Phyllis says. So, she encourages early childhood teachers to do anything they can to center themselves, whether it’s taking a walk in the park, going on vacation or praying as she does in the morning. “Young children and families depend on you, so you need to have a sense of strength,” as Phyllis tells the educators she serves. And Phyllis helps them find it by showing how much she cares. “Every day when I go to work, I prepare myself to be there for somebody else.”